The most difficult part of opening your doors for love again is welcoming it with trust. Truly, once broken, trust is so hard to regain. But, why is it also so difficult to trust another person?
I think it’s because once we are broken, we also gain fear. Fear that the same thing would happen all over again, smiling, laughing and unfortunately crying because of a certain someone. Maybe that’s why we lock our hearts so firmly that sometimes we are just the ones depriving ourselves of healing or maybe we are actually already healed but we don’t know because we’re so busy isolating ourselves.
If the latter happens, how would we actually know if we’re already fine? I actually don’t know. But I think it just really comes so unexpectedly and it is actually so beautiful.
Going out is okay. But going out with your bestfriend is risky, probably the riskiest.
As I reminisce about how our love started, I shed tears of joy. Our first date was so casual but, it was so fun. I didn’t even notice how much I’ve enjoyed it. It surprisingly turned out to be something both of us could not even explain but we both knew it was a possibility of love.
Through these months, we’ve made sure we enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes you would say it’s like we’ve been together for years but I think it was just because you were my best friend for almost eight years now. Actually, I really don’t know. Maybe you were right. Less than a year of dating but you’ve always felt like home.
For the past few years, I’d see you during vacations for simple dinners. This year, I saw you almost every single day. You’ve made me get used to everydates. I just don’t know how to get through a day without even getting a hug from you.
You tried to know me more even after these years and most especially, even after you knew you actually love me. But I also did. And it actually made me appreciate you more. Life’s crazy playing on me because all this time it was just you.
As I enjoy everything that comes within the package of your love, I thank you for sharing the same faith with me, making sure you know my kind of food, trying to make things so much easier for me, introducing me to such a wonderful family, being a kuya to my siblings, loving me during the hardest of times, crying on my shoulders when you’re sad, telling me why you are mad, sharing your stories most especially when you are glad, learning my body language and for simply just being there for me all the time.
Who would have thought? Everyday I look at you, I thank God for giving me this kind of love. Something I prayed for and I’d gladly dedicate this heart for that I isolated for years. You came just in time for this beautiful love that is actually grown from the same love I showered myself with for the past few years. Now, I’m ready to share it with you.
You are everything. My confidante, my other half, and my bestfriend.
Benedict, you are such a wonderful gift that I continuously pray for every single day.